1. We don't NEED each other, we WANT each other. When I was younger, I thought I needed a husband to make me complete and happy. My head was full of all those sappy, romantic books that promoted the idea that you could find true happiness if you could only find the right partner. I believed that somehow I was incomplete as just me. I needed someone to complete my soul…blah, blah, blah. After my first marriage of 11 years ended, I was stuck with just myself. I took some time to explore who I truly was and fell in love again. Only this time, it was with Amy Dragoo. I was actually a pretty cool person. I became exceedingly independent and knew exactly what I wanted and didn't want in a relationship (that doesn't mean I always got what I wanted, however). By the time Shawn Casey proposed to me, we both had a good idea of precisely what we wanted in our marriage. We were both independent people who were quite capable of taking care of ourselves and we didn't necessarily NEED another human being in our lives, but we sure WANTED one another.
2. We don't try to change each other. We dated for two years before getting married. I knew, for a fact, that Shawn Casey loved to play computer games. A lot. He knew that I loved to sing. A lot. There are times that he might play computer games into the wee hours of the night, but I am not going to nag him about it. It is his thing and he really enjoys it. It brings ME joy to see HIM enjoying himself. There are times that I sing into the wee hours of the night. He doesn't nag me about it. He knows that performing feeds my soul. He loves to see me happy.
3. We bring balance to one another. I am an Aquarius. All the way. My head is often in the clouds. I love a new adventure and I am deeply spiritual. Shawn is a Taurus. He is reliable, predictable and deeply intellectual. That is not to say that Shawn is not spiritual and I am not intellectual - but when we interact with one another, we have a way of balancing each other in the most complimentary way. He is the earth to my air ~ he grounds me and I lift him up. He is my safe haven and I am his thrilling expedition.
4. We keep our money separate. I know this doesn't sound terribly romantic. It has nothing to do with trust or the lack thereof. It goes back to point number one. He doesn't need my money and I don't need his. We seriously NEVER argue about money.
5. We laugh. We play. We try new things. Sometimes we chase each other around the house. I have this weird thing about my belly button. I don't want anyone touching it. He acts like he is going to touch it...but he doesn't. Then we laugh. (I know…we are weird). We play "name that tune." I dance and he laughs at me. He dances, and I laugh at him. We use puns, we tell really horrible jokes. We love trying new restaurants. I started gaming (role playing) with him. We go to fun places on vacation. We have great sex! We zip lined. We go on float trips. We go camping. You get the idea.
6. We spend time together. See number 5.
7. We talk to each other. And I mean a lot. We talk about religion, spirituality, politics, education, technology, Big Bang Theory, diversity, racism, Network Engineering, vegan diets, books, zombies, Ayurveda, yoga, fitness, Star Trek, Obama, Pathfinders, music, wine, scotch, beer, vacation, Key West, charities, friends, relationships, sex, parenting, the devil, God, chakras, crystals, computer games, gadgets, family, the environment, climate change, gardening, house projects, science, evolution, wellness, heroes, dreams…the list goes on and on.
8. We have little rituals. Sunday mornings are sacred for us. We sleep late and then partake in numbers 5, 6, and 7! We love cooking together. We go to the Bier Station and he orders the newest craft beer on tap while I order the Malbec wine every single time. We like to game on Sunday nights. We love to watch "Hell's Kitchen," "Master Chef," and "Big Bang Theory" together. He washes the laundry and I fold it. We text each other every single day.
9. We have left some mystery in our marriage. Basically - we do not perform bodily functions in front of one another. As far as he is concerned, I don't do that. Even after being together 14 years! LOL! :) That may be "too much information" for this blog - but - I am totally serious. I like having a little mystery!
I am sure there are many more things that I have not thought to share here. Perhaps I will come back tomorrow with number 10. And I am sure if you compare this list with the "research," you will find some similarities and perhaps you will find some oddities. Nevertheless, I am certainly blessed to be married to my very best friend on planet earth.