In memory of Lola Maertens Dragoo - June 14th, 1953 - January 16th, 2020
I wrote and shared this message at her memorial on January 19th, 2020.
Our mom's story is one of reconciliation, forgiveness, and love. You see, her life was one full of strife, abuse, and survival for much of it. And it was also full of joy.
Due to a series of unfortunate circumstances, Carrie and me, and Tayler and our mother, were often apart, more than together. We did our best to stay in touch through visits, phone calls, letters, emails and texts over the years.
Our mom is one tough, stubborn lady. She found out in 2002 that she had breast cancer. She beat the breast cancer and participated in many Relays For Life, and became an advocate for others who were fighting cancer. She was often a source of inspiration and hope for others facing the same battle. I learned this during our unexpected stay here in Monte. She also served as a source of hope and inspiration for her friends who might be going through difficult relationships. She was always ready to give a listening ear without judgement.
When mom got laid off from MTI, she was devastated. But in true Lola fashion, she turned it into an opportunity. She spent the next few years making visits back to Missouri. During this time, Carrie and discovered many loves that we shared with our mom. Visiting wineries, wearing Lula Roe leggings, sipping on lots of hot teas, and shopping for shoes amongst long talks!
In 2016, our mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. This was unrelated to the breast cancer she survived. She faced the lung cancer relentlessly, driven by the fact that she had beat lung cancer before and she would beat cancer again. I was able to take off work and come to be with her during her recovery. It was my first true glimpse of her life in Monte. Friends checked in on her, I went daily to Java to pick up her extra hot, chai tea latte with soy, and experienced some quality one on one time with my mother.
Fast forward to April 2019. We received the devastating news that our mom had pancreatic cancer. Our mom faced this diagnosis with the same optimism and ferocity that she faced her other diagnoses with. Little did we know that we would receive some of the greatest gifts from our mother during the next nine months.
We were given the gift of seeing our mother through her friends' eyes. A woman who was always there for her friends. She was the one to lift others up and she was often called a gem. Everywhere we went, people talked about how much they loved our mother and what she meant to them.
The gift that none of us saw coming, was the gift our deep friendship and love for one another. You see, while Carrie and I have spent most of our lives together, we did not get that time with Tayler. Mom, in her ferocious battle with cancer, gave Tayler, Carrie and me, the gift of time. We love one another deeply and have committed to keep our relationship at the forefront. In fact, Carrie and I have bossed our "little brother" into coming for Thanksgiving each year and we have committed to come here...NOT in the winter. :)
Another unexpected gift we have received is our new group of friends in Monte. Words are inadequate to express our gratitude to all of you. You have kept us fed, hugged, and loved during a very difficult time in our lives. I am not sure how we could have gotten through this without your outpouring of love and support. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Reconciliation, forgiveness and love. Being human is messy business. How beautiful would the world be if we could practice reconciliation, forgiveness and love?
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